Like most , as you get older you start to learn more and more things about yourself and in life that you don’t experience when you’re younger. Leading to my 25th birthday this past November I started to work on myself and learned a few things along the way. When that frontal lobe finally develops a lot of things start to click into place.
- Do the things you want – As someone who grew up not having many friends or people to spend my time with especially in high school, I learned that you will be waiting a long time if you need someone to always go with you whenever you want to go somewhere or do.
- Buy the thing – You could say this goes along with doing the things you wanted by yourself. As someone who grew up that couple not afford everything I wanted. When I got a job and had the money, I just get everything myself. It fells good to be able to buy the things you wanted especially when you have had people tell you they would get something for and you never hear about it again.
- No one is always looking at you – Since I grew up being significantly bigger than the people around me, I always thought that someone was always looking at me. Making jokes or judging me in some way.
- Every person has a season in your life – I thought that the few friends I made in high school were going to stick with a little longer than they did. I’ve learned that people can walk in and out of your life with no explanation. Sometimes they are they to help you through something and then thy leave and you’ll never know why. Learning to accept that has helped me so much when people enter my life now.
- If they wanted to they would – Everyone knows the phrase “ if he wanted to, he would”. And it can apply to family and friends too. If someone really cared about you enough to want to talk to you, they would reach out first. I lost the few friends I had after realizing I was the only one ever reaching out and when I stopped I could clearly see how one sided the friendship was.
- Leave him alone – Is it considered normal for every girl to have that one guy they liked that consistently showed no interest but still after every turn you continued to go after him or was they just me? Yeah … this took me the longest to figure out, but I’ll talk about that another time.
- Invest in yourself – Investing in myself was going back to school, going to the gym and even starting this website. Do the things that will make you happy or feel better about yourself. Starting new hobbies or picking up old ones take the time to put that energy into bettering yourself.
- Everyone doesn’t need to know everything – Keep your goals and secrets to yourself. Everyone around you does not always need to know the things you are doing, wait until you accomplish those goals before you celebrate with those around you.
- Take your vitamins – As a kid I count not have been the only one who didn’t listen when I was told that taking vitamins were important. As I got older I realized how my body can benefit from taking them especially as someone with PCOS. Now I see the effects not taking them has on my body.
- Move your body – Go for walks, get into the gym pick up an activity that allows you to move your body at any chance you get.
- Drink Water – This one is pretty self explanatory. If you’re not drinking atleast half a gallon a water almost every day you need to do some self reflecting.
- It’s never too late to start something – I think as we get older starting new things could be nothing short of anxiety inducing, and I am no exception. Wanting to they new things out especially as a plus-size girl stopped me from doing a lot. I learned now that you are never too late to go back to school and starting a hobby you see most people do when they are a child. My aunt is a great example for me when she graduated with her bachelor degree at 48.
- Start a high yield savings account(HYSA) – Becoming financially responsible would be the best advice I would give anyone my age, especially when you don’t have parents to fall back on like me. Starting a HYSA is a great way to start if you want to see your money grow and want to invest in something a big purchase or have an emergency fund.
- You are not falling behind – When I dropped out of school in 2021 and saw how others I went to school with were either graduating from college, getting married or having kids. I thought I was stuck. I literally had nothing going for me then. Now as someone with a stable job and back in school getting my degrees, yes two of them I am happy that I was able to go through that period of my life here I felt like that.
- Consistency is key to everything – if there is any goal you want to achieve in life you can’t half ass it. Start with Consistency in one part of your like and will trickle down into the other aspects as well.
- It’s okay to be lost – Not knowing everything or how to do something you never done before is expected. No one expects you to know everything. Take the moment to ask for help and lean on someone if they’re willing to let you.
- Speak up – I can’t tell you how many times I thought back to how I used to keep my mouth shut in high school and wished I would have just spoken my mind. Keeping shut didn’t do anything but make me feel worse for holding my thoughts back.
- People pleasing will get you no where – I’ve learned that people pleasing stems from childhood trauma to keep those around you from disliking you. In actuality people will use you and you don’t get anything in return.
- Be selfish – After a lifetime of people pleasing, I’ve learned that being selfish is okay. Even if it hurts someone feelings, it doesn’t matter. Be there for you don’t worry bout anyone else. And finally,
- Quality over quantity – Along with accepting to let people come and go in your life you learn that the quality of people is better the number of friends you have. People can still be sad with dozens of friends compared to those who only have 2 or 3.